~Quitting and Cardio Appt Recap~

I'm Done.

I'm done wasting $10.95 on stepping on a scale and then to have someone tell me that I haven't lost one damn pound... Even ounce.

WTF??

I quit.  I'm done I say... My mom says I can't quit... That with excersise (like I sit on my arse all day long or something) and a sensible diet, that I'll start to loose weight...

What ever I say.  Goodness, I guess my truthful way of talking has been really coming out lately (LOL!!).

Anywho... I'll stop complaining... Shite, I guess it is one of them days...

Mr. Zachary's cardiologist appointment went really well.  He is such a Chunko-Monko.  He is weighing in at 14lbs 8oz!!  That is a two pound gain from the last time we were at that office and a one pound gain since his peditrician appointment on May 13th.

His EKG went well.  The doctor was very happy with it.  He did say that because of the severity of his condition, that he'll keep seeing him every month for a while.  He did also say that when the time comes to start weaning him off of his meds, that they'll take pics (sonogram) and what not.  I asked him what is the normal age that they start to try to wean a child, like Zach, off of meds.  He said, "well, for him no sooner than a year old"... lol... I guess he believes he'll need to be on it for a while, because his poor little ticker was sooo bad at first...

My poor baby boy... :)

SO, it all went well.  Zach did really good and played it up for the doctor, but mostly for the nurses.  But of course he would, he is a ladies man, just like his father!!

Okay, I'm going to go now.  My mom went and bought out the childs section at Target to get stuff (storage like cubbies and shelves) for Rowan's room and I guess I should go help put them together...

Besides, the funky mood is rolling back in and I shouldn't subject you all to that B.S. again ;)

::Ciao::
~Pickle~

~Feeling Better~

I'm feeling better today... Thank you all for all your wonderful comments and suggestions.  It truly means a lot to know that I have friends out there that really do care.

My mood has risen and the black clouds have started to spread, the light is shining in today.  Sleeping in to 930 this morning and then a three mile walk with my mom and the kids have helped my mood too.

I'm off today because Zachary has a cardiologist appointment.  Originally, his appt was scheduled for 11am, so I took the day off.  Well, yesterday the drs. office called to remind us of his appt and they said it was at 345pm!  So, I called them and asked why the different time and I was told that they rescheduled it because Zach doesn't need an Eco today, just an EKG.  I said, OK no problem, but it would have been nice to know before hand!!  That way I didn't have to take the whole day off of work, ya know.  The girl seemed to be embarrassed and appologized, but it really isn't a big deal... I would have just liked a little heads up, ya know?

So, after his appointment today, I'm going to go to Weight Watchers to weigh in.  I'm not really up to it, but I guess I'll go and pay my $10.95 to be told that either I haven't lost weight or have in fact gained some!!  Eh, oh well... Like many of you have been telling me, "It took 9months to put it on, it will take time to take it off", right?

Okay, time to hit the showers and get cleaned up.  We've been puttering around outside and I'm sure Zach's doctors would appreciate it if I showed up clean :)

Hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday...

Thank you, friends, again for all your sweet comments...

::Toodles::
Ms. Pickle :D

~Some Pickled Thoughts~

I've been dealing with some issues lately.

Some personal, some financial and some mental.

Mostly, I've been thinking and dreaming a lot about Zach lately.  A lot of it has to do with his previous hospital stay and his condition.

I can just be there, lying in bed and my mind starts to wander... It wanders to those 12 horrible days that my baby boy was in the hospital.  And I just break down.

I dream about it... I wake up crying.  And of course, I check on him.  I just have to.  Sometimes, if I am really upset, I'll even check his heart beat!  In the middle of the night...

The other day, I was laying with Rowan while she got ready for her nap and a picture of Zach came to my head.  It was him, in the hospital.  All these feelings of hurt, anger, bitterness came to me and I was just crying.  Crying in my daughters bed...

I don't know what to do.  I guess part of this could all be part of my depression that I fight off day to day... I don't think you are ever 'cured' of depression... I know some people don't believe in it and thats their choice.

But I've dealt with it and I believe in it...

I don't know why I would start to have a problem with the whole "Zach Drama".  Its been over two months since we've been home.  Everyday I think about it.  We've got pictures of him from the hospital on our fridge, just to remidn us, and I guess that probably doesn't help... But its like we NEED to be reminded.

I know this side of the Pickle is probably new to some of you, but hey, I'm being real... That is what my Journal is all about.  Jimmy just loves the idea that I'm real, so hey, welcome to it...

Well, I think I've gotten some of my "pickled thoughts" out... I hope I'm not 'weighing' this journal down by doing so... I just needed to get it out...

Goodnight Friends...
~Pickle~

~Monday Again and Another Quick One~

 Okay, its Monday once again! Unfortunately I'm going to have to give you guys another quick entry.

The baby is here with me at work today.  My mom is sick (better than yesterday though) at home and Miss Ro is with her.  I figured leaving Rowan with my was the better choice because she is easier to take care of than Zach.  She is more self-sufficent if you get my drift.  My mom can basically just make sure she isn't doing something wrong :)

Sunday was a great day.  The weather was wonderful.  Actually a little chilly in the morning with all the wind we had blowing around!

Rowan, my friend Amy and I went and saw "Madagascar" Sunday at 11:15am.  It was an okay movie.  Not really a "kids" movie.  Many parts in there were definetly geared towards adults.  In fact, if you've seen it, then you know what I'm talking about.  A lot of stuff in there would just fly over kids' heads, like it did to Rowan.

Oh well though, we had a good time... Even with Rowan having to use the potty 3 times DURING the movie :)  haha.  She enjoyed her popcorn, soda and skittles though.  I think that is what she loves the best.  Its funny to hear Ro say "Madagascar"... Its more like "M-gad-car"... Oh well.  She isn't even 3 1/2 yet! 

Tonight is gym class.  Last week it was closed due to the holiday, so she'll be glad to get back to it today.  I'll be glad to get her back too... She has too much energy sometimes :D

Well, I hate to just do this short itty-bitty entry when I have more to say, but I do have to go... I promise I'll be back later to give you some more... I have lots of things running around in my mind...

::toodles:

~Why Am I Tired?~

Why is it that I'm tired when I really haven't done anything today?

I mean, yeah, I was up at 4am to feed the growing monster of a son... Then up at again to give him his meds to protect his little ticker... And then I was up again at 8am, because Rowan wanted to "go to the front room".

I guess broken sleep can get to you, huh?  But hey, I guess that comes along with being a "Mommy" right?

So, its now just barely 730pm and I am seriously ready to go to bed.  My eyes are burning and I can't stop yawning!

I guess if I decide to go to bed earlier than normal, I'll have to remember to set my alarm to wake me up at 10pm so Zach can get his meds again.

This morning, around 9am, I went to Kohls.  Yes, I finally did it.  I did pretty good too.  I didn't get upset when some of the things just didn't fit right or looked right.  But I did end up finding two outfits and a pair of shoes to go with both.  Both outfits are skirts and a shirt.  Very "In-Style" I'm guessing.  Every bit of what I bought was on sale!

WOO HOO on that one.  My shoes, that I got for $19.99 were originally $44.99!!!  Can you believe that?  I was stoked. 

So, everything that I bought rang up to like $130.00 but because I had a $75 gift card, I lucked out and only had to pay $55.00!!

This afternoon, the kids and I went to a graduation party for a friend.  There were so many people there that I went to school with and swam with that it was almost a Mini-Swim Reunion!  Its nice to catch up with people every once in a while.

Well, I'm going to go enjoy some cookies that just are coming out of the oven :)  Sooo not on my diet... lol... Oh well!  Not into it today...

Have a great rest of the weekend all my J-Land friends :D

::HUGS::
~Pickle~

~Quick Recap~

I'm just going to do a really quick entry for this evening.  I'm very tired, even though I don't have a real good reason to be... And I'm dying to hit the bed!!

Okay, so my date with Derek last night was really nice.  We had a good time and actually found other things to talk about besides the kids :)  "The Longest Yard" was a good movie, even if it isn't getting good reviews.  I'd have to say that this movie is more along the lines of "Big Daddy" and "50 First Dates" type, instead of Adam's slap-stick comedy of "Billy Madison" or something like that.

The soundtrack to the movie was really great too.  In fact, when we were at Target today, we even picked it up.  Lots of music that "gets you going". 

Dinner was wonderful... It has been forever since I've been to Olive Garden.  I was good too... Well, at least I tried to be.  I did get some soup, but only had a few bites... Derek ordered that Artichoke and Spinach Dip, but I wasn't too hot on it (Sorry Nae, it wasn't as good as you made it seem... Maybe it wasn't made right?) so I only had two bites... But for dinner, I was really good.  I ordered Chicken Scampi and basically put a 1/4 of the food to one side of the plate and said to myself, "this is all that I'll eat", and that is all that I did eat!

But you know damn well that I was having the left overs for lunch today :)

Derek, the kids and I went to Target today to get the 'needed' things.  You know, like formula (argh!! $24 for a 25oz can!!!) and other stuff.  I also picked up a new water can so I can water my flowers and plants that aren't next to the sprinkler. 

Its a really nice one and pretty big, and guess what?  I only paid $5.99 for it!!  Can you believe it?  I was stoked.

After Target, we had to go grocery shopping.  I swear, I hate it when I have to take my husband and I hate it if he goes by himself.  We always end up spending more money than we should.  I'm sure some of you out there know what I'm talking about :D

Well, Zach is already down and its time to get Miss Rowan to bed... It will take a good 2 hours for her to go down in her room and then somewhere around 3 in the morning (if not sooner) she'll end up back in our bed... haha...

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!  We have more yard work to do tomorrow and another graduation party to attend! 

::Smiles and Hugs::
~Jennifer~

~The Weekend is Here and a Date with the Husband!~

                             

I’m patiently waiting for this day to be over.  It isn’t a bad day or anything like that, but I’m excitedly awaiting a date with my husband today!!

 

Yes, you read that correctly.  Derek and I actually get to have some free time (thanks to my parents) to go out on a date!  We are going to hit up a movie- “The Longest Yard”- and then go to dinner at The Olive Garden!

 

I truly can’t remember the last time I went to a movie.  It had to be before I got pregnant with Zachary.  I am not big on going to the movies for different reasons.  The prices being one, the fact that I seriously have the world’s smallest bladder, and having people that I don’t know sit next to me creeps me out!  I’m crazy I know.  But I rather rent the movie or buy it when it comes out and watch it at homeso I can pause it or come back to it later if need be.

 

But I’m going to enjoy myself today.  I’m determined to!  Derek and I seriously need some “adult time” and need to some what reconnect… The last time him and I went out all by ourselves (besides being in Sacramento for Zach- which doesn’t count!!) was the week before Zachary was born!  Can you believe that?  And that baby boy is almost 4 months old!!

 

So, its time!

 

Miss Rowan is feeling a little better.  Her rash did get a little bigger and started to blend in more.  It also started to spread down her arms and behind her knees… And up to her face!!  But she didn’t seem bothered by it.  I did end up calling the advice nurse yesterday afternoon to talk it over with her.  She said to just watch it and if it didn’t get better in a few days or actually got worse, then to have her come on in.  I didn’t get to see what it looked like this morning, because she was still sleeping when I left, but I’m hoping it was better.

 

Dinner over at the in-laws was really nice last night.  We had a turkey dinner (yes, just like thanksgiving) and ravioli’s and other stuff.  Yum Yum.  I did really well, until it was time for dessert when I had a brownie!

 

Eee-gads it was good.  No wonder I don’t keep sweets like that in my house.  I’d seriously eat a whole pan of brownies if there were at my house!  No kidding.

 

Get this.  It’s June 2nd, right?  Well, here in the Central Valley (California, ya’ll) by this date, it is usually pretty damn warm.  Somewhere around 90 degrees most days.  Well the forecast for this week has us in the mid 80’s and then this weekend it will be in the high 70’s.  Can you believe that crap!?!  I was totally getting used to the Heat and now I’m going to have to readjust to the mild weather and then when it finally gets hot again (God knows when!) I’ll have to readjust then!  Putting my body through hell, that’s what this weather is doing.

 

Argh.  Oh well, I guess its better to have cooler weather when you are working out in the yard and trying to exercise, huh? 

 

Yeah, we’ll be out in the yard again this weekend.  Derek is supposed to fix a few sprinklers and broken valves, while I’ll be planting some more flowers under our Redwoods on the side of the house.  Our main project will also include digging up the grass (including weeds) that was damaged last summer when we had our pool dug.  We’ll have to turn the dirt and either lay sod or throw some seed down to get the grass to grow!

 

That will be the biggest chore to do, but will truly make our yard… Not to mention all the wonderful landscaping that my parents have helped with – Love you Mom and Dad!!

 

Well, we are closing our month out today and I gotta go and do some work… Time to put my nose to the grindstone, ya know?

 

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday… Just remember that the weekend (for all you Mon-Fri people) is only a day away!!  Mine is starting at 3pm today!!  Woo Hoo...

 

::Ta-Ta::
~Pickle~